Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
