you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize
