I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
