Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
