How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
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How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Come share oat with me in your robe
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
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