she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
