I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
