I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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