From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
