So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
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we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
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Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
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