Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
