belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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