Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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