Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
