just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
