i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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