5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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