ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
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I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
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My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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