is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
This gyro tastes like lonliness
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Randomize
