I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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