the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
