I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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