He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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