i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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