I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
