What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
