Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
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