i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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