I molested 6 butterflies tonight
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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