he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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