his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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