I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
