I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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