Someone shit on the floor
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Randomize
