im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
