Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
