he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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