I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Randomize
