Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
