I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
