How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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