So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
She's the barista slut.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
