That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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