Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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