dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
