Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
