i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
