they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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