do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
