I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Randomize
