no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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