I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Your topless pictures make me question reality
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
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