I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Of course I have a pirate flag
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
