im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize