eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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