HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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