i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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