that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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