Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
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