that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
