O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Randomize
