ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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