yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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