If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
