I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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