Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
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