a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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