so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I would ride that face into the sunset
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
