I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
