She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
